If You Have 2020 Stress , Choose BetterHelp To Be Your Stress Buddy
It has been said that talking to someone or asking for help with mental health issues is a tough thing to try to do – but it is a step that needs to be taken because it means you're taking control of a problem and your life. People tend to avoid seeking for help with their emotional health because they want to “solve” their problem on their own. Men have traditionally been stereotypically conditioned to “man up”, and “suck it up”, instead of to “speak up” - and women are stereotyped as overly emotional if they express their feelings!
The good news? More people these days seem to be opening up –but they don’t want to be a burden, and they don’t want to be regarded as being weak in the eyes of others.
Stress, anxiety and depression are serious health conditions that many people deal with alone. Their psychological states don’t get equivalent respect to physical ailments society, and there is way less urgency to treat these mental ailments from the medical community than physical ailments.
For example, in a recent survey of men’s attitudes to seeking treatment for mental issues:
• 72 percent of respondents said they would rather be doing household chores, like cleaning toilets, than visiting a the doctor.
• 65 percent of respondents said they avoid getting to the doctor as long as possible.
• 20 percent admitted they aren’t always honest with their doctors about their health.
• 37 percent said that they had withheld information from their doctors specifically because they weren’t able to face up to the potential diagnosis which may result if they learned the truth.
The fear of appearing weak leads many men to undertake and try and sort their problems out by themselves. They even have fear of diagnosis - and men don’t like being vulnerable. This toxic masculinity encourages men who have this sort of mental distress to play out their role with anger, stoicism and aggression.
Know who to ask
Let’s assume that as you're here, you recognize that you have a stress and anxiety problem which will not be solved or simply go away by itself, and you’ve identified that the road to stress-and-anxiety -busting is to speak about your feelings to someone. But who?
This is an enormous step – you’ll probably feel fearful and lost about where to start.
But if there is any time in history that a man can open up about fear, stress and anxiety it is 2020 – global pandemic, natural disaster, political unrest and climate change. Yes, you have the best (of the worst) excuses in the world, quite literally.
Let’s dive in....
1. Who would you wish you could talk to?
• Would you like it to be someone you know?
• Can you trust them?
• Who might they tell?
• Do you think that they're going to be ready to help?
• Will they take you seriously?
You might prefer to seek help within a supportive Facebook Group or from a professional organizations’ page like https://www.facebook.com/BetterHelp/
2. Who you would like to avoid?
The type of stress buddy you would like to avoid can be summed up using the words of Dr. Brene Brown who gives a range of examples within her book “The Gifts Of Imperfection”. These are such powerful examples that we feel that we have to borrow them to illustrate this important issue:
The friend who actually feels shame for you, gasps and confirms how horrified you ought to be. Then there’s a clumsy silence and you are feeling the necessity to makethem feel better
The friend who responds sympathetically (saying “I feel so pitying you. You poor thing”) instead of sympathetically (like “I get it, I feel with you and I’ve been there.”)
The friend who needs for you to be the pillar of worthiness and authenticity. One who can’t help because they're too disappointed in your imperfections (‘I can’t believe you’ve been so stupid!”).
The friend who is so uncomfortable with vulnerability that you simply get scolded (“How did you get like this?”)
The friend who is all about making it better and, out of their own discomfort, refuses to acknowledge that you simply can actually make terrible choices (“You’re exaggerating. It wasn’t that bad.”)
The friend who confuses reference to the chance to one-up you. (“Dude, please! That’s nothing. Listen what happened to me…”)
Look for support from people that cause you to feel safe and cared for - you are entitled to it, don’t settle for less. The person you ask doesn’t necessarily have the ability to fix you overnight; they only need to be an honest, caring listener someone who’ll listen attentively and compassionately without being distracted or judging you.
If lockdown regulations permit, invite them to a movie, or concert, or another activity which will make breaking the ice easier and that is often a way to chat casually about serious issues. There are many people who feel even as awkward about reaching out and making friends as you If you've got someone in mind that you simply can trust and you are feeling comfortable with, then go for it!
If your problems feel overwhelming, then look for a suitably experience professions counselor from a great online resource like BetterHelp, and you can find an online therapist who can help you via voice chat or face time in a comfortable environment. Getting help, will enable you to manage the matter as quickly as possible, meaning you're free to get ahead, and live the best life for your family.
If are struggling with stress issues, please see the trainings and resources that here and on this site and take the first steps towards better mental health now.