Making Your Relationship Work Through The Arrival of A Newborn

Making any relationship work long term is difficult. There are all sorts of challenges that all of us will face along the way. Some major issues and difficulties tend to include health concerns, money worries, familial pressure, pressure from friends and more. But often, we are able to overcome these. Now, when any major change in your relationship occurs, you can easily find yourself having disagreements or even arguments with your partner as you work together to change things to make things work around this major change. One of the biggest changes your relationship can go through? The arrival of a baby.

Sure, this can be extremely exciting and an overall positive alteration to both you and your partner’s lives. But it’s absolutely inevitable that your relationship is going to have to change as a result of this. Why? Well, previously, you and your partner were likely pretty carefree. You only had to take one another into consideration in your relationship. Now, you have a huge responsibility. You have to take care of a baby. You have to put their needs (and eventually wants) first. You’re going to have to revolve your life around doing what’s best for them. So, it’s not all too surprising that you may meet some bumps in the road with your partner along the way. Here are a few pieces of information that can help you and your partner to work through the arrival of your little one as positively as possible!

Remember You Don’t Have to Stay Together

If, at any point, you or your partner decides that your relationship isn’t working, it’s important to remember that being pregnant or having a baby doesn’t mean that you have to stay together. Sure, it may mean there will always now be a bond between you. But you don’t have to raise your little one as a couple. Sometimes, there are reasons for relationships to end. There are more serious ones that mustn’t be overlooked and that must be tackled at once. Any shape or form of abusive behaviour should not be tolerated and must be walked away from as soon as it is safe to do so. Common forms of abuse in a relationship tend to include physical abuse, mental abuse, emotional abuse, financial abuse and more. If you ever begin to experience any form of abuse whatsoever, it should signal that your relationship needs to come to an end and you may need to seek legal help to protect your child too. Whether that’s through police, a divorce lawyer or anyone else. Leaving may be daunting or scary, but is always going to be the best option in these situations. Remember that there are also charities, support groups, helplines and more out there to help you too! Then, there are less dangerous issues, but issues that still mean your relationship might not be able to work. Lack of trust, cheating, different life goals or incompatibility can all be too difficult or impossible to overcome and these could signal the end of a relationship too. Of course, in situations that are safe, both parents should still be able to see the child, but you don’t have to form a nuclear family to give a little one a positive upbringing.

Issues to Discuss

There are likely to be a number of issues to discuss in advance of your little one’s arrival. These are issues that can lead to arguments and disagreements once your little one is born, so it’s best to openly and honestly discuss them to avoid conflict further down the line. This can help to swerve arguments ever occurring. As the old saying goes, prevention is better than cure!

Names

Naming a child is a pretty big deal and it’s not all too surprising that things may get a little heated if both parents can’t come to an agreement. There are countless names out there, so there’s bound to be something that you both like. It’s just a matter of finding it. Avoid being stubborn or stuck on a single name. There are also middle names, which can help to fit two names into one overall name if both you and your partner have set preferences. Remember to be lenient. Work together, looking through name books, making lists and whittling your options down. You’ll get there eventually!

Birthing Methods

There are numerous ways to give birth to a baby. Sometimes, parents have a choice in what they’d like their birth to be like. C sections, bath births, the list goes on. Discuss the pros and cons of each option with your partner and come to a conclusion of what’s best for you and the baby. Ultimately, the decision will likely fall down to the mother, as it’s her who will be going through the pain and potential complications of the birth. What is more comfortable and appealing to her will likely be best overall for parent and child.

Breastfeeding

There are lots of debates around breastfeeding, which are altogether unnecessary. At the end of the day, you can raise a healthy and happy baby whether you breastfeed or not. Ultimately, when it comes down to it, the choice over breastfeeding is entirely down to the mother, as it’s her body that will be put through the process of breastfeeding. It’s important to respect the mother’s decision and support her through the process, whichever choice she makes.

Religious Ceremonies

There are a number of different religious ceremonies that can take place when having a child. If you and your partner disagree on this, there can be conflict. This can be a difficult decision to make, as neither partner will have ultimate authority over their little one’s decisions in the future. If in doubt and you can’t come to an agreement at all, it is probably best to leave your child to decide for themselves once they are old enough to independently understand the decision they are making. You can raise your child with elements of both religions (or lack of religion) and see what they prefer and believe in themselves once they’re an adult.

Overcoming Challenges

There are some challenges that you may find it difficult to overcome, but there are likely ways that you can tackle them in a healthy manner that ensures you and your partner are still happy together. Here are some pieces of advice that can help when it comes to arguments and disagreements. 

Therapy

Marriage counselling or couples counselling can be great for couples who are experiencing troubles in their relationship. Why? Well, you will be able to discuss issues calmly that you would usually argue about, with the supervision and guidance of a professional in couples’ issues. For many couples, therapy is a saving grace that rescues their relationship and sets them and their partners back on good terms. If therapy doesn’t work? Well, you’re in no worse a position than you were originally. So, there’s nothing to lose by trying it out!

Avoiding Comparison

At all costs, you must avoid comparing your relationship to others’ relationships. Why? Well, unless you’re in a relationship, you never know what it’s really like. Many couples having trouble do a great job of putting on a happy public act that presents their relationship as all happiness and roses. Now, avoiding comparison may be easier said than done. We see one another’s private lives day in and day out on social media. Most of us begin to compare every aspect of our lives to others’. But what you need to remember is that people only tend to show the best bits, or completely fake aspects, of their lives on their profiles.

Few people share their bad days, their arguments, their issues and so on. Chances are that the picture perfect Instagram famous couples you follow have just as many arguments and disagreements as anyone else. The picture perfect Instagram family? They don’t post the sleepless nights, the stress, the upset. But chances are they are going through it. You just don’t get to see that side of their relationship! Nothing is perfect, so it’s important that you don’t compare what you have to a false image of perfection.

Learning to Communicate

All too many relationship issues are a result of ineffective communication or a lack of communication. Bottling up problems, concerns or emotions of any type can result in an explosion that really needn’t be so major or dramatic. Instead, when issues arise, tackle them. You need to talk to your partner to overcome problems. Otherwise, nothing will go anywhere positive. This is particularly important when a child is involved.

Sure, having a baby is likely to be a hugely positive occurrence in your life. But you also need to work on maintaining your relationship through this period of stress, uncertainty and worry. Working together, you can make this great!