So You're A Single Mom — What Now?

If you're a single mom, you aren't alone. Single mothers are the head of roughly 15 million households in the U.S. today. That's about a 25% increase from three decades ago when being a single mom was still somewhat taboo. Even so, having more single moms around doesn't make your job any easier. You still have to change dirty diapers, work, cook and clean on your own. No one has to tell you how difficult that can be.

However, whether you've been a single mom for a day, a month or a year, there are ways to make motherhood a bit more manageable. Here are just a few tips that may help you handle the chaos and regain a bit of your sanity.

1. Take It One Day at a Time

As a single mom, you know better than anyone about soldiering on. After all, you have no choice. You're somebody's mother now. You have another life to care for and protect, and that means waking up day after day and pressing on. Of course, this can get pretty overwhelming at times, especially when you begin thinking about the next 18 or so years ahead of you. 

It's best to take life one day at a time. You'll certainly plan and create goals, but don't get so caught up in the future that you get lost in it. Instead, focus your energy on being the champion of today, especially if you have a newborn on your hands. You can make plans later. 

2. Surround Yourself With Support 

Even as you tackle each day as it comes, you'll still undoubtedly struggle with fear, anxiety and overwhelming stress. Combat these feelings by surrounding yourself with a support system of friends, family and other single moms who can sympathize with you. Doing so will encourage you to keep going and remind you that you aren't alone on this journey. 

Moreover, have at least one person you can talk to on a deeper level. Find someone you can share your darkest fears and worries with. This person might be your mother, best friend or even a therapist. Regardless of who you confide in, make sure it's someone who will give you sound advice and won't panic — even if you do. 

3. Have a Backup Plan 

You are your baby's sole provider and caregiver, now. As such, you must prepare in case anything were to happen to you. While this isn't a pleasant subject to think about, you must consider who would care for your baby in your absence. Who will raise them? Will you leave them an inheritance? These are all essential questions you should answer sooner rather than later.

One thing that may give you some peace of mind is getting life insurance. Taking out a policy for yourself can provide some cushion for your kids and help their caretakers raise them while they're young. Moreover, the money could go towards their education or inheritance when they're older. 

4. Don't Worry About Dad's Absence 

Your child may or may not see their birth father once you two separate. However, regardless of how often they see one another, know that your child will grow up just fine. As long as you are attentive and loving towards your baby, you shouldn't worry about dad's absence. Besides, plenty of father figures will drift in and out of your child's life — from coaches to neighbors. 

Furthermore, your baby may grow up to be even more well-rounded than his peers who lived in two-parent households. From developing stronger bonds to learning how to handle adversity, your child will likely be more prepared to face the adult world than his counterparts. 

5. Ignore Other People's Opinions

Today, nearly 40% of mothers have children out of wedlock, and many raise their kids without a father. Thus, single parenting is much more common than it was decades ago. Still, there will be people who disapprove of your being a single mother — regardless of the situation. Be prepared for uncomfortable comments from your grandparents, gossipping coworkers and snide remarks from your married siblings. 

Moreover, learn to ignore their judgment. Distance yourself from negative voices and replace them with positive ones. Remember, the only opinion that matters is your own. Check in with yourself and ask the mom in you what she thinks. Odds are she'll remind you that you're doing the best you can — and that is enough.

As a Single Mom, You Come First 

You live and breath to nurture and love your baby. Yet, being a great mom means putting your own needs first, even when it's hard. You shouldn't compromise your parenting. Rather, you must take time to care for yourself and stay as stress-free as possible. Only then will you be able to care for and support your baby to the best of your ability.