The Letter You Can Write Before Your Baby Is Born

By Szabolcs Ujfalussy

What would you like your child to know one day about the time you spent waiting for them? As a father of two, that thought helped inspire me to create myAngelVault, an app that preserves personal messages and memories for our loved ones in case something happens to us and we have to say goodbye sooner than we planned.

But this story began long before the app.

When we learned my wife was expecting our first child, I wanted to preserve as much as possible of what lay ahead. There are relatively few photographs left from my own childhood. I wanted to give my sons more than that: videos, stories, and an organized collection they could follow to see how their lives began and how their childhoods unfolded.

I started collecting right away. A time-lapse of the nursery taking shape, from bare walls to a finished room. Photos of my wife's belly as it grew. The video from the morning we drove to the hospital. Bringing our baby home. His first steps. Later, all of it again with our second son, including the moment our older boy met his little brother for the first time.

Along the way, I kept the ordinary days, too. Because over time, I discovered that some of the recordings I most enjoy returning to are the ones where, seemingly, nothing special is happening.

I organized the files, gave them names, and made backup copies. I wanted my boys, when they were older, to be able to see the parts of their lives they were too young to remember.

Eventually, though, I noticed something missing from those recordings. Something only I could add.

A video of the nursery shows them how we prepared for their arrival. What it doesn't necessarily tell them is what I was thinking at the time. What kind of father I imagined becoming. What worried me. What I hoped to show them about the world.

One day, they might want to know those things, too.

Expecting a baby involves so much preparation. We make space, research, shop, and plan. We also begin thinking more about how to keep our family safe.

That's the thinking behind life insurance: we want our loved ones to have financial support if something happens to us. We plan for a long life together, but it helps to know we've considered that possibility.

The personal side of that responsibility was on my mind, too. I wanted my sons to have words from me as well. Sentences that would help them understand how I saw them and what it meant to me to be their dad.

And I already had things to say before they were born.

If you're expecting your first child, you may feel you barely know them yet. You haven't seen their face or discovered their personality. You don't know what will make them laugh.

But you already know what it's like to wait for them.

You can write about choosing their name. What you hope to do together. Something from your own childhood you'd like to pass on. Or whatever comes to mind when you imagine meeting them.

This could be a mother's letter or a father's. You each have your own story of this time.

Neither letter needs to be perfect.

A few sentences are enough to get started. If you find it easier to speak than to write, you can record a voice message or make a short video. One day, your voice, your familiar expressions, and the sound of your laugh may mean a great deal to your child.

I imagine watching these recordings with my sons and telling them the stories myself. But despite all our plans, life doesn't always turn out as we hope. If they lost me too soon, I'd want the words I prepared for them to survive and actually reach them.

That became one of myAngelVault's most important purposes.

You can create a private vault for each person you choose, starting with a single letter. Later, add a photograph, a story, another message. Over the years, the collection can grow with your family.

Several layers of safety checks run in the background. Before delivery, the service tries to reach you and involves a trusted person you choose. A missed sign-in won't send your messages, and one sign-in stops the process. Your letters remain encrypted while they wait.

For me, thinking ahead about who a letter is for and how it will reach them is as much a part of preserving it as writing the letter itself.

I have the video of our older son's first steps. What I didn't have, until recently, was a single line telling him what that moment meant to me.

You don't have to say everything now. And if your child has already been born, you haven't missed your chance.

If you'd like to start your own vault with myAngelVault, your first message can be very short. If you're still waiting for your baby, it could begin like this:

"We haven't met yet, but there's something I already want you to know…"

What would you write next?

About the author: Szabolcs Ujfalussy is a father of two in Hungary and the founder of myAngelVault, a digital legacy app inspired by the messages and memories he wants to preserve for his family.