How To Come Up With The Best Coparenting Schedule For Your Family

© Ronstik

Even when separation and divorce are the best options for your family, there are immediate complications. Your kids have to get used to an entirely new schedule that takes time to figure out. As you evaluate what life will look like, a bit of planning can make things easier for everyone.

Read about how to come up with the best coparenting schedule for your family to discover your first steps forward. When each parent works together to create a plan, everyone can move on and begin to heal.

1. Prioritize Your Child's Needs

Children deal with intense emotional repercussions of family separation when they feel left behind in the process. The first step to creating any coparenting schedule should be prioritizing your child's needs. Considering their age and relationship with each parent will outline what's most important to them.

Think about their best interests to make sure they don't feel like they lack things such as:

·      A safe home

·      Access to food

·      Warm clothes

·      Medical care

·      Friendships

In addition to basic needs, they'll also have crucial wishes. Younger kids could want more face time with a parent who's home, but teens will crave more independence. Every parent must list these needs and desires according to the age and personality of each child.

2. Compare Existing Schedules

Both parents should sit down to manage the logistics of both personal schedules. Do you both work full-time or do you have changing shifts? Are there any routine obligations you fulfill in the community?

Anything that requires your time and attention should go on a shared calendar. After comparing both schedules, identify anything that's not an essential activity in case adjustments are needed. You might need to give up one of your weekly coffee dates with friends to make time to drive your kids back and forth.

3. Remember Extracurricular Activities

Your schedule comes first, but don't forget your children's plans too. They're likely involved in extracurricular activities like piano lessons, sports teams or clubs. Think about which parent lives closer to where your child needs to go. If one parent lives much farther away, it might save time and gas money for them to have the kids on the weekend.

4. Make a Block Schedule

Block schedules can make the future less confusing. Weekly or biweekly rotations minimize how often kids have to travel between houses. It's also easier to remember because neither parent has to travel multiple times each week.

Parents who have already begun the legal separation process can consult their attorneys regarding their childcare schedules. Child custody attorneys will advise you on custody options, so your eventual schedule complies with the law. A block plan works well for joint legal custody, but sole custody puts all responsibility on one parent. One might make more sense than the other, depending on your situation.

5. Dedicate Long Weekends

Some parents can't travel during the week because of their job or other responsibilities. Consider sharing the kids over varying long weekends. One parent takes care of them during the week, and then they see their other parent over a three-day weekend.

6. Write Down the Rules

When your kids travel between parents, they'll also live with different parenting styles. It could confuse them as they develop essential abilities like social skills and judgment-making abilities.

Before your coparenting schedule begins, write down shared parenting rules. You could agree to enforce things like:

·      A standard bedtime

·      A healthy diet

·      Social media limits

·      Homework prioritization

·      Behavior reprimands

Explain what behaviors or activities are off-limits. Writing it all down will clarify future arguments so both parents cope with parenting disagreements in healthy ways.

7. Explain Communication Expectations

You might feel nervous about your kids staying with their other parent. What if they keep your kids from calling home or don't update you about how they're doing?

Explaining and setting communication expectations is an essential step to developing a coparenting schedule. Ensure you both understand how often the other parent wants to hear from the kids with a nightly phone call or weekly video chats. 

8. Get Your Kids Involved

It's up to parents to create the best schedule for their family, but get the kids involved once you have a rough plan figured out. Letting them have some power over their future mitigates the anger and resentment they may feel because of the divorce.

They might also prefer one kind of schedule over another. Make compromises where you can so they don't feel a total loss of control during this time.

Remember to Reflect

After you begin your newly separated lives, come together to reflect regularly. While things are new, weekly or biweekly reviews are an easy way to refine parts of your schedule that don't work.

With time, you'll come up with the best coparenting schedule for your family and settle into a new definition of everyday life.