Things You Need to Know About Military Families

Each year, roughly 180,000 Americans enlist in the military. And, while they may be the ones to go through bootcamp and deployment, their families also face a fair amount of challenges and changes. As service members board planes, boats and buses to fight wars on foreign soil, they often leave their spouses and children alone at home. 

And, while we focus on the heartwarming reunions of service members with their spouse and kids, there's a lot more going on behind the scenes. From changing locations every few years to struggling with their own political views, the modern military family faces a number of challenges that we civilians may not even be aware of.  

1. Military Families Are There by Choice

This might come as a shock to you, but service members enlisted because they chose to. They weren't drafted or forced to join against their will. But why, you ask, would someone choose to leave their family to fight in wars? While the answer to that question will vary from person to person, one thing is certain. They didn't enlist because they love their family any less than you or I do. And leaving their families behind is likely an extremely difficult decision. 

Likewise, a military member's family is right where they are because they want to be. If a spouse moves to be closer to the military base, it's because they want to be with their enlisted partner more than anyone else in the world. Yes, they sacrifice being with other family and friends, but being with their spouse matters more to them. So they make the choice and move. 

2. The Government Controls Much of Their Lives 

Additionally, military families — and their service members — don't get a say in where they live or when they move. Rather, the government assigns them a station and may choose to deploy military members whenever it wishes. The government also has a say in when they take leave and can return to their families. And officials don't grant that kind of permission lightly. Often, service members miss their funerals, weddings, holidays and even their children's births. 

With the government controlling so much of their lives, it's hard for families to plan a future or even for spouses to get a job. Most families move every two to three years, which means each time the spouse must find a new school for the kids and a new job for themself. There are a number of military-friendly employers that seek to hire veterans and their spouses. However, the search for such businesses can be difficult and discouraging. And helping the kids integrate into a new school can be just as difficult.

3. Military Benefits Aren't Free 

Freedom isn't free — and neither are military benefits. As previously mentioned, service members spend months, even years, away from their families, work long hours and make life and death decisions daily. Whatever benefits they receive are rightfully earned. And, often, these benefits aren't as great as most people envision them to be.For instance, many assume that military families get free housing. However, if the family lives on base, the military often deducts the price of housing from the service member's monthly paycheck. 

Additionally, eligibility for most veterans benefits requires a minimum service length of three years. That's three years of relocating, traveling to dangerous countries, fighting wars and leaving their families behind. And, to complicate things further, where and when they serve can impact their eligibility. So, even if a member does serve, they may not qualify for benefits. 

4. Their Political Views Are Diverse

When you think about the military, you may picture a bunch of conservatives happily exercising their right to bear arms. However, not everyone serving in the armed forces holds the same political views  — and neither do their families. Some service members are liberal. Others are extreme right-winged. Some spouses are anti-war and disagree with presidential decisions while others may fully support government decisions and the fact that their spouse is fighting for their country. 

So, regardless of branch or rank, everyone has a different opinion and political view. And many even share views from both parties. In fact, a 2004 study showed that 45% of Army members considered themselves moderates, leaning neither to the right nor the left. And many of their families likely share the same convictions. 

5. They're Just Like You

When it comes down to it, military families are really just like yours. They share a lot of the same worries and frustrations you do on a daily basis. From raising kids to building their own careers they face many similar challenges, often suffering through them alone, far away from friends and family. But, knowing that military families aren't much different from you, maybe you can find the courage to befriend them. 

Share stories, encourage each other and be there for a spouse or child when they need a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. Because they're human too. And I'm sure you'd want someone to do the same for you, were you in their shoes.