How To Keep Your Relationship Strong And Healthy
Fact: we live in stressful and difficult times, when balancing careers, family, friendships and life struggles can take its toll on even the closet of relationships. Many couples’ communication suffers and as a consequence even the simplest of situations become incredibly complicated and confusing.
In most situations this arises because the couple feel that there is no time to think about their own issues or emotional health, or just forget to talk about them. If you add the pressures of caring for a new baby or older children into the mix, and many parents get completely embroiled in other things.
With 42% of American adults living without a spouse or a partner, and as many as 1 in 2 marriages ending in divorce, it is really important to take time to think about how to nurture a relationship and ways in which to deal with common problems: it is often said that ‘relationships take work” – but that does not sound like much fun, given tat it is the most important part of one’s life, and so here are tips that will help you to incorporate healthy habits to preserve, nurture and grow your relationship.
Communication is key
This can be viewed like a cliché, but it has been said that in life generally “the most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said”. Listening to what is being said in the heat of the moment of a heated discussion is far more difficult than talking and is a skill that has to be learned and honed.
Make an effort to see the other person’s point of view, positive and negative, especially if they are feeling upset about something you may have done. If it is escalating into an argument try not to view this as a win/lose situation, because if one of you is hurt there is no winner.
The purpose here is not to feel vindicated but to learn what buttons you might have inadvertently pushed to upset your partner so much and find a way to avoid it in the future – that is your win-win situation
Don’t neglect your feelings
A relationship is an ongoing and dynamic process – things change as you get older, and priorities shift. So be careful to include your relationship into your routines, and make sure that you maintain it – if something is upsetting you, or you feel neglected and need more time because of demanding needs of careers and children, just be vulnerable and tell your partner how you are feeling, gently and honestly.
Very often, your partner may just not know how you are feeling, and if you harbor feelings a situation that could have been resolved be resolved by having a meaningful chat can escalate into major problems – you are doing no-one any favors, and if the situation was reversed, would you feel hurt that your loved one didn’t trust you enough to share with you?
Take some time with your partner to talk and find out how your respective fears needs and wants may have changed since you got together. Plan some special time to reconnect as a couple and explore mutual interests. If you go outside your comfort zone, your spouse or partner will appreciate you that much more.