How To Help Your Parents Retire

Whether your parents saved for retirement or are going at it without a defined plan in place, you probably want to support them however you can in their retirement journey. While you can't do it all for them, helping them define their needs, offering guidance and providing reliable input along the way can do a lot to ease the tension of a life change. 

While it may not be easy, showing up and helping your parents is a rewarding endeavor. It's important that in this process, you continue to care for your own needs and consider your own priorities, too. Your mental health, personal commitments and plans for your own future shouldn't be sacrificed. Really, it's all about balance.

Have a Plan in Place

One of the most important things you can do when supporting anyone through a serious life change is asses expectations and boundaries. Talk about what you're willing and able to give financially, emotionally and in terms of time commitment. Understand clearly whether you're the primary source of support, or if you have siblings or other family who are reliable and willing to step in if need be.

If your parents expect more of you than you know you're able to give, it's best to voice your boundaries at the very start so everyone can plan accordingly. It may be hard, but it's important to know your limits. That way, you can help your parents to the best of your ability, and help them find solutions for the needs you can't meet.

Consider the Living Situation

Moving may seem like it would add an unnecessary burden to an already overwhelming life change, but really it depends on your family's situation. If your parents already live somewhere that's comfortable, accessible and affordable it would make sense to stay put. However, if they're still in the house they bought 20 years ago or a steep walk-up just because they haven't reconsidered, it could be a great time to consider finding a living situation with more intention in planning for their future needs.

While options like retirement homes might not feel necessary, finding a suitable living situation to age in place or looking at retirement communities could be more appropriate. Many retirement communities offer amenities like memory care and can cater to your parents' specific needs. Moving around is much easier when planning for accessibility rather than desperately needing it. 

Crunch Some Numbers

Money isn't the most fun part of planning for the future, but it doesn't have to be painful and awkward either. It's important to make expectations and boundaries clear. If your parents assume that you'll offer support that you can't afford or aren't comfortable with, it's important to be honest and firm. You should never put your own finances in jeopardy by sacrificing your emergency fund or your own retirement savings, because that could push the same burden onto your own children.

Set a clear budget and see where you can cut costs both in your own spending and in your parents' budget so their needs and priorities are properly met. You even can see if they qualify for any financial assistance programs or reach out to siblings or other family who may be able to help.

Think About Life Insurance

Your ability to take out life insurance on your parents will depend on factors like age and health, but it's a worthwhile option to look into if you're shouldering most of their retirement costs. Life insurance could look different depending upon what kind of policy you go for, and your personal situation. While it will be an extra bill to pay each month, it could help to replenish some of the money you spent to help them retire. Thinking about your parents' mortality is difficult, but it shouldn't deter you from planning for the future in a comprehensive and responsible way.

Reflect on Your Situation

As you go through the process in support of your parents by helping them meet their needs in retirement, consider what it's taught you about the retirement journey and how you can apply it to your own life. If you have children of your own, consider what you would change about your experience to make their time eventually supporting you smoother and easier.

If you haven't started saving for retirement, it's never too late to start. Even beyond your savings goals, it's important to start thinking about what you want your retirement to look like. Consider your ideal location, living situation and life plan for your retirement. You can take notes along the way as you learn through your parents and their process, and hopefully create an even better retirement plan when the time comes for you and your own children.

Helping your parents through their retirement journey can be a lot to think about. It's important to know your limits and prioritize your own needs while you strike a balance of offering care and support. And maybe, along the way, you can build a knowledge base to plan for your own future.