5 Ways For Parents To Connect After The Birth Of A Child
Connection is different within every family. While some parents flow into natural attachment with their baby, others need a bit of intentional effort when it comes to bonding. Sometimes, one parent has an easier time connecting to the new baby than the other. No matter where you are in your journey of connection with the brand new member of your family, there are so many ways you can deepen your bond.
The same techniques won't work for everyone, but trying out different things and finding the best fit for both baby and parents will grow your connection. Those early days are a special time, and the habits you build then will carve out the space for ongoing meaningful attachment for years to come.
1. Skin to Skin
The practice of skin-to-skin contact usually refers specifically to connecting directly after birth, where the baby is dried and placed on the mother's chest. However, it can go far beyond that, too. Skin-to-skin connection directly after birth can create an immediate bond with both parents — not just the mother. In addition to that, having regular physical contact can build relationships and comfort for the parents and the baby.
Taking some time at home with the baby on your chest while nursing, napping or simply relaxing can be a great tool in building constant, intentional connections. Cuddling and maintaining calm, secure contact can help create a bond from birth and in the months following.
2. Quality Time
It's easy to imagine that you'll be spending a lot of time around your baby naturally, which is good news for the whole family. Quality time is a great way to build that lasting bond. Engaging in play, talking to your baby and even taking downtime together can create a connection. Spending time with a baby will inevitably look different from hanging out with other adults or even children. Babies can't do much — but that doesn't mean being with them is any less important.
Things like holding your baby while they sleep and relaxing together can remind them that you're there for them. This can help build a healthy, secure attachment style and help you build a strong family foundation.
3. Intentional Feeding
While creating intentional feeding time for your baby is often linked to the practice of breastfeeding, that conversation can often exclude fathers or parents who choose not to breastfeed. The truth is, whether your family has decided to make breastfeeding a part of your routine, nourishing your baby can still be an activity of bonding and connection.
Take some time to sit with your baby and make feeding them an activity. If you're breastfeeding, enjoy the physical bonding connection. If you're bottle-feeding, be mindful about how you're nourishing them and feel the beauty in that.
4. Babywearing
Wearing your baby in a sling can form a strong bond as you stick close together through everything — literally. The warmth and connection are great for soothing and calming the baby and the parent, and it's great for the convenience factor. Out in public, babywearing can feel so much better than pushing a stroller around. This doesn't have to be your mode of transport all the time, but it can be a welcome switch-up even once in a while.
Babywearing has so many benefits, from improving cognitive and social development to keeping the baby in a position that benefits their health and well-being. Look into different wraps and carriers to see what works best for you and your baby.
5. Cosleeping
Cosleeping is all about being close to your baby through all hours. There are so many options that can help you bond with your baby. While you can take the plunge into sleeping in the same bed as your baby each night, cosleeping can also mean sleeping within arm's reach so you both know you're close by.
On a practical level, this can mean less waking up in the middle of the night to trudge into another room so you can feed or change them. On an emotional level, this can strengthen security, connection and help everyone rest better.
If you're looking to test the waters, you can cosleep some nights to see what it's like, take naps together or stay with your baby until they fall asleep. While cosleeping isn't for everyone, it can certainly be a beneficial experience for many families.
Finding Your Bond
No matter where you are in your journey of connection, there are so many ways to mindfully invite meaningful bonding into your family. It's all about making your baby feel loved, happy and secure, which will lead to strong attachments and healthy relationships throughout their life. All you need to do is follow your instincts, and you'll be just fine.