How To Encourage Your Children To Engage In Independent Play
Contrary to what the modern world may tell you, play is not frivolous. In fact, free, independent play has direct effects on your child's social, cognitive, emotional and behavioral development. It's also natural for most children. However, if you'd like to encourage your child to play by themselves more, there are quite a few ways to do so.
1. Start Slow
If you've never allowed your child to play independently, they may not express interest in doing so when you first give them the opportunity. Don't allow their lack of enthusiasm to discourage you, however. Start slowly by simply sitting beside your little one as they play. Then, as they lose themselves in the activity, try sitting quietly in another part of the room. Eventually, they'll become comfortable enough to play without you nearby.
2. Create a Play Space
Designing an adequate play space is also important if you want to encourage independence. Create an area that's appealing to your little one and close enough that you can still supervise. Use storage that's easy for your child to manipulate. All interactive wall panels and artwork should be at their eye level, too. Moreover, consider removing all screens from the space to best encourage active play.
3. Cater to Their Interests
What kinds of toys should you include in their play space? Of course, you want to purchase or make ones that are alluring to your child. One of the best ways to do so is to pay attention to their interests. Do they constantly try to get into your makeup? Give them a powder brush and a blender to play with. Are they always trying to get into your tool chest? Let them play with some plastic or wooden tools.
4. Provide Open-Ended Materials
As you add toys to their space, you should also make sure they allow for open-ended play. Objects with multiple uses like building blocks, dolls, zippers, velcro and even cardboard boxes are especially useful for solo play. The items don't suggest an end goal and offer endless possibilities so kids can use their imagination and take their play in whatever direction they choose. Remember to provide age-appropriate materials as well to encourage longer stretches of independent play.
5. Implement a Toy Rotation
When your little one isn't using their toys, stash them away in a toy box. You might even keep their toys on a sort of rotation, stashing a few away for a few weeks before switching them out. When they reappear in their toy chest, your little one will perceive them as more novel and, therefore, more interesting. Implementing this simple strategy is one of the easiest ways to encourage your child to engage in independent play.
6. Schedule in Free Time
More often than not, independent play takes a back seat to extracurriculars and other structured activities. Therefore, you must reprioritize independent playtime. In the beginning, doing so may require setting aside an hour of free time each day. Yes, your little one may complain that they're bored but, eventually, they'll become comfortable with their own company and begin enjoying this alone time. Then, they'll start to explore new avenues of play and engage in open-ended activities without your verbal encouragement.
7. Let Your Child Lead
Even when you and your babe are playing or completing an activity together, allow them to lead. The more often you practice handing over the reins, the more comfortable they'll be taking them when you aren't around. Even if they choose to do something you know won't work — like fit a square block through a circular hole — let them try instead of correcting them. Allowing them to try, fail and try again will promote their problem-solving skills and independence.
8. Minimize the Commentary
While your child is engaging in free play, avoid disrupting their flow, even if your intention is to praise them. Evaluating, praising and commenting on your child's actions only inhibits them from making their own decisions and finding satisfaction in a job well done. In fact, praising your little one will likely minimize their interest in playing independently. So, if you say anything, point out the results of their actions. "Yay the block fit" is better than "you're so smart!"
9. Don't Treat Play as a Punishment
When you tell your child it's time to play, pay attention to your tone and the words you use. If you tend to say, "I'm busy now. Go play by yourself for a while," they'll likely begin to perceive independent play as a form of punishment. Instead, treat play as a natural birthright, as an opportunity for your little one to create, explore and have fun. Use simple phrases and a lighthearted tone to announce playtime and see how they react.
Taking a Step Back
Sometimes, one of the most difficult things a parent must do is take a step back and let their child exercise their independence. After all, your natural instinct is to coddle and protect them. Yet, giving them the freedom to choose their own path and explore without receiving constant input is one of the best things you can do for your kid. Take a step back, trust their competency and agency and watch them grow.