The Exes: Should We Stay Friends With Them?
Breakups happen. They are a vital part of everyone's romantic life, as it is extremely rare to stay for life with your childhood sweetheart. The reasons vary - sometimes people part ways on good terms; other relationships end abruptly or even violently. People are different, and so are their relationships, as well as ways of dealing with the endings.
We all have our breakup foods, movies, or songs; some prefer to deal with it quietly, while others need to get wild. And that’s okay - whatever works.
However, what connects many of us (at least those who don't hate their exes with all their hearts) is wondering whether it is possible to stay friends with an ex. And if it is, should we aim for that?
Consider Your Motivations
If you keep wondering whether you can be friends with your ex, think about the reasons why you would even want that.
If you have always been friends first and romantic partners later, it may still work out for you. Assuming you have both agreed that your love or lust has died and your breakup was relatively peaceful, there may be a way to build a whole new friendship in the place of your relationship. And it could even be a healthy, beneficial one.
However, if you keep thinking about your partner because you feel lonely, then you should start working on your willpower. A lot of people actually make this mistake - a relationship ends, to which both sides have agreed, but they quickly find out that they don't remember how it is not to share your daily life with another person.
If you think too much while you’re alone, try focusing on other relations in your life. Invite some friends for a dinner party, take your sister to the cinema, or plan a trip with your co-workers. Soon you’ll see that it’s most likely the company you miss, not the particular person.
And if you only miss intimacy and sex, it is much better and healthier to explore your body on your own. You may click here to read about some (perhaps) surprising ways of achieving pleasure by yourself; don't be afraid to also experiment when you're alone. No one will ever know you and your body the way you can get to know yourself.
It is likely that you are missing the touch of your former lover. One way to try and recapture the feel of this lost intimacy is to experiment with a ftm stroker. You are the only person who can honestly tell what you like and what suits you. Use this time to work on your self-awareness. You will see that it will bring your next intimate relationship to a whole new level.
When You Shouldn't Stay Friends with Your Ex
Under no circumstances should you keep in your life a person who was abusive, manipulative or toxic in any way. Ask yourself how you actually feel when you are around them and why it ended in the first place. Unhealthy relationships are the most difficult to get out of, so if you feel like you can't do it on your own, ask for help. People who care about you will be more than eager to keep you away from a toxic partner.
Apart from that, you should probably avoid staying friends with a person with whom you had a highly passionate relation. If you never really started as just friends, and your sex life was incredibly erotic, you may sooner or later try to get back together. Even when the deeper feelings are gone, chemistry remains unchanged, and it can be hard to resist.
Besides, you should never do anything you don't want. You may feel forced into a friendship by your ex or other third parties. If that's the case, it will probably be a huge mistake. A lot of people, even if they have no hard feelings towards their ex, simply feel awkward around them. It may hold them back from getting into another romantic relationship in the future; it may also be uncomfortable for a potential partner.
When You Should Stay Friends with Your Ex
First of all, you never should remain friends with an ex; it is only right when you actually want it. Even if you have a child together, it is crucial to be respectful and able to have a normal conversation, but there are no obligations, ever. It will never be healthy if you force it.
Also, couples who dated quite casually or were together for a short period of time will probably have it easier, as they don't have as much history as others.
Very often, ex-partners need to wait for some time after a breakup but are able to become friends later in life.
Final Thoughts
Generally speaking, it is a challenging task to remain friends with an ex. You will always share a romantic history, and it may be hard looking past it all the time. The most important thing is to never do anything against yourself. Make sure to stay in touch with your inner self, your true desires, and emotions.
Don't try to build a friendship with your previous romantic partner only because they want it. It can only be successful when both of you are willing to try with no hidden intentions. So, consider your feelings, and don't be afraid to step back. An ex-partner can become a great friend, but it is crucial to keep the relationship healthy, whether it's friendship or something more.