The Best Ways To Teach Your Children To Be Inclusive

The last thing we want as parents is for our children to grow up and become bullies. Indeed, it has become a rampant problem for kids growing up today. Between one-quarter and one-third of all children say that they have been bullied at school. Fewer face similar treatment online, but cyberbullying can also be a problem. 

As it turns out, exclusion can become a form of bullying. A child who knows and loves to include everyone can help reverse this problem, though. The only problem is, you're not quite sure how to teach the tenets of inclusivity to your little one. 

Luckily, you're not the first to try and teach your child compassion and care for others. Here are some tried-and-true methods to help your son or daughter to become more inclusive: 

1. Grab a Few Books

You'll be surprised at how much your little one can learn about inclusivity just from a children's book. Plenty of authors have thoughtfully broached the topic of diversity — you can use their words to help guide you in your at-home lessons on the subject. These books cover everything from inclusivity in general to more specific areas, such as racial diversity, LGBTQIA+ representation and awareness of disabilities. So, buy or check out from your local library the titles that apply to start reading and learning together. 

2. Talk About the In-Crowd

As early as fourth or fifth grade, students may begin to deal with in-school cliques. These groups have a built-in social hierarchy based around who's deemed to be cool. Those left out of the clique? They end up feeling bad about themselves for not being part of the in-crowd. 

Be sure to cover this topic with your child, especially before they enter middle school — cliquiness really begins around that age. Explain that the popular thing to do may not be the best thing to do. Highlight their long-term friendships and how they mean more than being part of a cool social circle. On top of that, parents should avoid giving in and buying every fad, gadget or other must-have that all the other kids seem to have. Instead, remind your children that a particular item won't guarantee their inclusion — encourage them to forge another path. 

3. Extend an Invitation

Your child can become more inclusive by meeting new people. Specifically, they can befriend classmates or teammates who seem to have trouble connecting with their peers. You might have your little one pick a new friend each month to invite over for a play date, instead of hanging with the same kids over and over. Or, you can encourage them to sit with someone who sits alone at lunch. These tiny gestures will mean a lot to the kid who's not normally first picked — and your child will probably feel good about their actions, too. 

4. Inspire Kids to Have Patience

Sometimes, a child's left out of the loop because they have a disability or physical limitation. If children don't understand their behaviors, then they might perceive them to be annoying. Or, sometimes, these little ones have trouble performing tasks at the same speed as their peers. This possibility can make for some impatient pupils. 

Explain this to your kids and inspire them to have patience with their classmates. Indeed, this type of compassion is one of the best ways to include children with disabilities at school. With understanding — as taught by you — patience should come to your child. 

5. Help Them Leave an Exclusive Group

Perhaps you've noticed that your child has questionable friends that either exclude them or others. Check in with your child's teacher, principal, school counselor, or anyone else who would know this to be true or not. If they confirm your suspicions, then ask further questions. Namely, find out which kids would make more suitable playmates for your child. Then, steer them toward healthier, more inclusive friendships — no cliques required. 

You can also help your children to diversify their friend groups by signing them up for different activities. Befriending kids from sports teams, church, study groups and more will help them realize that they have options. They don't just have to settle for being friends with unkind classmates. Instead, they can befriend kind people — and return the favor to others in search of solid friendship. 

6. Be a Great Example

Your child will always look to you for guidance, whether you know it or not. So, take a critical eye to your friendships and relationships. Do you have a diverse circle of friends? Do you cast judgments or mutter racial stereotypes? Your children pick up on these behaviors — and they'll go on to mimic them. 

So, take a good look at your choices and your beliefs before you try and get your little one to be inclusive. It starts with you and spreads from there. Open your heart to others, and your child will do the same. 

Give Them the Power to Include

It can be difficult to be inclusive, especially in today's divided society. However, you have the tools to help empower your child to be kind to others in the face of it all. Their compassion could even inspire others to do the same. Soon enough, your lessons will have ripple effects — a society of inclusive kids could be just what this world needs.