Progressing The Family After The Proceedings: Maintaining The “Family Unit” After Divorce

While divorce has a major effect on the children, that's not to say we cannot navigate the issues and maintain a family unit of sorts. It all depends on how you and your partner are after the event, and how focused you both are on the children. If one person is bitter or angry, this can put a spanner in the works. With this in mind, are there any things that you can both do to benefit the children after the divorce proceedings have been initiated?

Communicate

It's so easy for us to use our divorce lawyer as our mouthpiece, in the mistaken belief that everything will seem more formal, and we will get what we require. Regardless where you are in the divorce process, if you can keep the lines of communication open, this is what will help to preserve a family unit of sorts. Communication is difficult with an ex-partner, and naturally, there are so many things that come into play, especially if the other party is hurt, but it's also important to speak to your children with your partner present. If you're not ready yet, you still need to avoid badmouthing the other partner in front of the children.

Sticking To The Agreements 

After a divorce has been finalized, and all the arrangements have been settled, both sides need to stick to this. If you want to stand any chance of holding your family together, the rules have to be followed. This is, ultimately, showing respect to the process. And if you withhold your end of the agreement, this is only going to cause problems. The same goes for the other party. If you are doing your best to keep the family together, and you are both determined to make it work for the children, there has to be a structure in place. 

 Give It Time 

This new family setup won't magically appear overnight. Finding out what works, not just for you or your ex-partner, but the children as well, can give you a better idea of how to progress. Start small, such as both of you going together to see your children's after school activities, and this will give you the opportunity to see where you are both emotionally. It can take time to get to this point, especially if you aren't emotionally ready. What's important is that the atmosphere is as relaxed as possible. Understandably, children will pick up on the tension between you and your ex-partner, but it's always better to give it time and wait until everyone is ready to move on under the guise of this new family unit.

It can seem like a flight of fancy, but the family unit after divorce is something that can be achieved. There are plenty of extended families that encompass new partners and stepchildren. The family unit is something that needs to alter with the change in scenarios. If you want your children to remember that both parents love them equally, maintaining the family unit, despite divorce or separation, needs to be a priority. It can take a long time to get there, but if you persevere, you will.