How To Nurture A Relationship With Your Children's Grandparents

Your parents may live nearby or hundreds of miles away. They may love babies or rather not endure their loud shrieks. Or, they might not enjoy children's high energy, but your little ones are the exception. No matter the situation, there are ways to nurture the relationship between your parents and children. From planning vacations together to encouraging communication early on, there are a number of ways to foster a strong, healthy connection that will last for years to come. 

1. Set Them up for Success

It's likely been a while since your parents have spent time playing and talking with children. Set your parents up for a successful visit by reminding them of your child's tendencies or scheduling a visit when your child is most likely to be talkative and ready to play. This is especially important in the early stages of your child's life when their attention span or waking hours are short.

Additionally, establish interactions within a safe environment. So, if your three-year-old is into climbing dressers or shelves, place them in an environment without these dangers. This ensures grandparents can focus on play and interaction instead of protecting or scolding them. And, if your child has trouble warming up to their grandparents at first, begin playing as a group and slowly remove yourself as the child becomes more comfortable. 

2. Encourage Communication 

Most grandparents communicate with their grandchildren on a fairly regular basis. One in five U.S. grandparents say they communicate with grandchildren daily, and 41% stay in touch weekly. While these numbers are promising, it takes communication from both sides to cultivate a strong, lasting relationship. Therefore, it's essential you teach your children the importance of staying in touch with their grandparents. 

Encourage young kids to send artwork or a handwritten letter to your parents or teach them how to e-mail pictures from their soccer tournament or school event. Video chatting through digital applications like Skype and Facetime is also a great way to connect, especially if grandparents live far away. And, when your children are older, suggest texting or regular phone calls to keep grandparents up to date on life events and activities. 

3. Plan Shared Activities 

Moreover, if the relationship is long-distance, it's crucial you plan joint vacations, trips or visits in advance to foster a strong connection. Many grandparents have the energy and resources to sponsor trips or rent vacation homes, which present great opportunities for fun interactions. However, the connection doesn't have to be expensive or elaborate. Adventures like going to the zoo, a hands-on museum or even the playground can make a difference. Often, it's the small things like playing a game, singing or reading books that children will remember and cherish most. 

Of course, the most important part of planning shared activities is choosing adventures that both generations will enjoy. For instance, if your parents love gardening, let your kids join them and get their hands dirty too. Most young kids love exploring the outdoors, making mudpies and plucking flowers, so gardening might be a great way to help your parents and children bond. 

4. Tell Stories 

Another brilliant way to cultivate a strong relationship is to tell stories to your children about when you were their age. Show them photos of you and your parents on vacation 30 years ago or tell them the story of how your mother wouldn't leave the house without her hair done up in a beehive. Stories and pictures from past times will help establish a good rapport with your kids and give them something to talk about the next time they see their grandparents. 

Likewise, grandparents can share pictures of you when you were little — for instance, photos of what you wore for Halloween when you were five or you in your donkey costume during the annual Christmas play. Grandparents can tell your children stories of raising you and adventures you went on together. Then, maybe they can share similar adventures if your kids express interest. 

5. Don't Try So Hard 

Sometimes, as hard as you might try to encourage them, the relationship between your kids and their grandparents doesn't form right away. In this case, it's best not to push one-on-one time. Rather, spend time together as a family until your kids become more comfortable. But, once they do, it's important to let the relationship flourish on its own without you constantly giving advice or suggestions. This creates deep emotional connections and provides children with a sense of safety and protection.

Parents who recognize the importance of allowing children and grandparents to spend quality time alone together will benefit all three generations. In this way, grandparents have the opportunity to pass on their legacy, knowledge and traditions without the filter of the parent. Moreover, your children will discover that their grandparents both know a lot and are lots of fun to be around. 

So, while you seek to nurture this special relationship, be patient. Planting the seed may be your job, but letting the relationship grow into something beautiful is also imperative to a strong, lasting bond. And, with time, you, your parents and your children will have many adventures together and years of shared memories.