4 Biggest Mistakes Parents Make When Going Through a Divorce

When parents get divorced, it can be a challenge.  When two people have to deal with their own emotion, start a new life on their own, it’s easy to see why it may be a struggle.  Yet at the same time, they are still required to uphold their role as moms and dads to their kids.

With all of these combined elements, many parents may make mistakes during the process.  As a result, they may create painful memories for their children. Here are some of the biggest mistakes couples make when going through a divorce with kids, and how to avoid them.

Fighting And Arguing

When going through the divorce process, it may be difficult to stay civil with the other parent.  However, it’s essential to make an effort to be polite for the kids.  When kids see their parents fighting it can be incredibly painful for them.

Seeing their mom and dad who were once loving with each other treat each other like enemies, can tear their world apart.  If you absolutely must express how you feel with the other parent, ensure that you do it in private, away from your kids.

Using The Children as Pawns

In some cases, divorcing parents may use the children as a way to hurt the other parent.  In some cases, they may try to turn the child against them or use them as a way to transfer messages.

Putting your child in the middle can be one of the most damaging effects of divorce. In effect, parents are asking their kids to stand in for them rather than communicating themselves.

Avoid this kind of behavior at all costs and keep your child out of your argument.

Bad-Mouthing The Other Parent

When you’re going through a stressful experience like divorce, it may be tempting to unload your feelings on your child.  Leaning on them for emotional support may seem innocent enough, but in fact, you may be confusing your children.

Talk to a friend or therapist about your feelings rather than unloading your emotional burdens onto a child.

Failing to Keep Up With a Routine

Kids need to feel secure during divorce.  They need to know that nothing is going to change and they’ll still have two parents who love them.  

Some activities may inevitably change since you’re no longer a family.  Therefore, parents should make the best efforts possible to keep it close to the way it was as much as possible.

It’s crucial that you reassure your children and let them know that they are still as important and loved.

Your child will suffer far less in the long run if they still feel secure and valued by their parents during the process.