How To Properly Tell Your Children That You Get Divorced?
Divorce is the thing that should be discussed with your children anyway. Some 48% of marriages now end in divorce, for reasons as varied as spouses obsessively playing online games to cheating. As you should expect, it is so crucial for you to remember your chiildren them during this profoundly terrible period. The children are also involved in the divorce process, here and there they hear something about their parents, so you should remember it always. How can you prepare your children to tell them about the divorce process, what words to choose, etc.? Today we will discuss this topic and deal with the ways of how to tell your child that you are not together with their father anymore. Let’s begin to do it right now.
You can imply the films that a child knows. If you do not know, how to tell your child about the divorce process, bear in mind that good movies that a child knows will be a right helping hand in such a case. For instance, there are lots of the cartoon where the main heroes are divorced; you can make a comparison with them and explain that nothing special happens. You also have to admit that you still love your child and are sorry for this situation. If the child fails to understand or does not listen to you, you have to wait until she/he is ready to listen to the truth. Anyway, the children a5re wise, even if they do not understand what happens, they feel it.
Use lots of tender words. It is better to speak with your children politely and use lots of words that are not too sharp for the ear of the children. You can say, we have decided to live with your father separately, instead of the words about the divorce process, etc. Never use the words that can harm the children, for instance, your father has deceived me so that I will be alone thanks to your father, etc. The more you tell bad things about your spouse, the more problems you will have in the future. If you do understand that children still love their father and want to live in the whole full family, the father becomes a so-to-say, monster in the eyes of the children. It is not the truth, and you will destroy their hearts and their ability to communicate with their beloved father. If children do hate their father after the divorce, try to speak with them about it. You may persuade them that he is not only one person to be guilty in your divorce case. You are also in a deal, and you bear the responsibility for them as well as he does. Never make your spouse an enemy for your children, they will not forgive you it in the future!
Stay calm and positive. The scientists have claimed that during your divorce process you can be nervous all the time, and it can positively influence your children. A smooth voice, a smile, some funny words, and your children recognize their happy mother and will not make a mess from your divorce. They can be cheated with the funny story, new toys, etc. The less they are thinking about the divorce case, the better it is. We are all people, so our intelligence must be the most important in this whole deal. Calmness can also help you to live with the thoughts about the divorce, its peculiarities, processing with the divorce documents, etc.
Forget about telling your children about the divorce case. For their sake, you can do not tell them the ugly truth to save them from reality. It can be done immediately when the children are too small to understand, what happens and what to do with all this stuff. Small children will not realize that you are separated from your spouse because you both will always be with them, will play with them, take them to the parks, attractions, etc. Your spouse can also do his best to be together with his children in such a moment, and pay them as much attention as he can. Of course, if he neglects the children and his responsibilities regarding them, you can also tell him about the court decision and that case that he must be together with them.
Speak openly with the teen children. Professionals in the divorce area say that kids are too vulnerable to talk to them directly about the divorce and divorce preparations, so let them know the truth with the help of the situation. You must not hide the facts and tell them a lie about their lives and your divorce, so tell them like it is. We are divorcing. From now and forever we will be speaking with your father only about your problems and wellbeing. We will perform our best to stay with you all the time. However, the father will have another place of living. Be firm and do not react to their tear that will be. You are right in such a situation. You do not need to live with a person you do not love and do not want to continue your everyday life. Change the rules for the teens and make a short break for them, They need time to discuss inside themselves all the information given, and only after that, they can react clearly to what is currently happening. The more you feel guilty, the worse will be the result, so never mind if suddenly they start to cry or shout. In their age and position, it is normal, and you have to respect their feelings as well.
All in all, we can conclude that a divorce proceeding is pretty hard for everybody, so the more you are fighting for it, the more you are explaining everybody everything, you will still need the problems with your understanding. Some people will blame you for destroying your family; some people will blame your husband. However, it is not needed at all. You have decided to continue living without your spouse, you have all the rights to do it, you are not a slave, and the people who consider you should live in a total sorrow are wrong. Be positive and believe in yourself right here and right now!